Are you looking for gentle parenting examples that will help guide you through the early stages of motherhood? These are the top gentle parenting examples that I use in my daily life with my toddler.
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These are the top gentle parenting examples that can be used with your children at any age, but especially your younger children. As an early educator turned stay at home mom, these are tips that I used in my daily career as well as motherhood.
You are going to learn how to apply these gentle parenting examples in your daily life to increase those desirable behaviors from your children.
This post is all about the top gentle parenting examples.
What is Gentle Parenting?
Before getting into the gentle parenting examples, I wanted to touch on the definition of gentle parenting. Gentle parenting relies on respect, empathy, and understanding while setting firm boundaries. It is also known as respectful parenting.
There is a common misconception that gentle parenting is allowing your kids to walk all over you. That is not what gentle parenting is. You still want to set boundaries with your children, but that does not need to include yelling, hitting, or timeouts (unrelated consequences).
The tips I will go over are tips I have learned through professional and personal practice. They do not define gentle parenting, but they are examples that have worked for me to reduce undesirable behaviors and increase the desirable ones. Read disclaimer here. Now, let’s get into the gentle parenting examples.
The 9 Gentle Parenting Examples:
1. Set firm boundaries
As a toddler parent, it is always easy to say no. You can let your child explore while setting firm boundaries. I heard a mom say “save the no for the important stuff.” This was the moment I turned to gentle parenting.
One example of setting boundaries could be allowing your children to eat on the couch, but they need to follow your rules. My rule for eating on the couch is if my daughter wants to, she can. However, if she dumps her snack on the couch or spits it out, she will no longer be allowed to eat on the couch. That is a gentle parenting consequence. It directly relates to the action.
Another gentle parenting example of setting firm boundaries would be allowing your children to have safe access to the kitchen and teaching them the boundaries. Keeping your garbage can under the sink? Great! Teach your children that they may not play in the garbage cabinet.
It can take extra time and patience to teach these things, but I have found that letting my daughter be independent with firm boundaries has increased those desirable behaviors. If you want to see less of those undesirable behaviors, try these gentle parenting examples. You want to work with your children, not against them.
2. Use priming language
Using priming language is just familiarizing your children with the change before it happens.
One gentle parenting example would be, if your children are playing, but it is almost time for lunch, give them multiple warnings with times. You can say, “in 15 minutes it is going to be lunch time” and continue to remind them. A few minutes later say, “okay 10 minutes left to play and then it is lunch time” until it is actually lunch time.
When you are using priming language, you can also pair it with a timer. I typically just use the timer on my phone, but having a visual timer for your children can be really helpful.
Getting a timer like this (with a visual) can allow them to see it and anticipate the change. You could also use a visual schedule (jump to visual schedules). Providing visuals can help children in so many ways and reduce those undesirable behaviors. Let them participate and learn your boundaries.
3. Focus on the action, not the individual
Try avoiding placing shame on your child for making mistakes or not listening to you. You’ll want to focus on the action. For example, if your child spills a glass of milk, the typical response is “oh no you made a mess.” Instead, try saying something about the action like “uh oh the milk spilled, let’s clean it up.”
Making messes is a natural part of life and you don’t want to make them feel shame for making a mistake. It is a perfect learning opportunity and show them what they should do when they make a mess. Focus on the mess and avoid saying stuff like “look what you did.”
4. Reinforce desirable behaviors
This gentle parenting example is one that makes a huge difference! You’ll want to reinforce any desirable behavior and ignore the less desirable ones.
For example, if your child is throwing food off their high chair, you’ll want to praise the action of keeping the food on the table when they aren’t throwing. Try to ignore when they are throwing food everywhere and really focus on them eating or keeping it on the table.
Food throwing is one I really struggle with. It is one that makes me really angry and I have to constantly remind myself to praise the behaviors I want to see. Draw attention to those desirable behaviors. Children want your attention, so if you give them it when they are having undesirable behaviors, you may just be reinforcing them.
Gentle parenting can be really hard and frustrating at times, but it will help you when your children learn those boundaries.
5. Offer choices you are going to accept
Offering choices can be a great way to give your children a sense of independence. However, if you give your child a choice that you don’t want them to pick, it can become really frustrating.
If it is time to put shoes on and they are refusing, give them the choice between 1 minute or 2 minutes. Don’t give them 10 minutes if you need to leave the house in 5 minutes. Another great saying is “do you want to do (task) now or in 1 minute.” This way it gets done quickly, but they are choosing the timeline.
If your children don’t follow the choice that they made, then it is time to help them follow through. If it is time to pick up, help them pick up. This can look like hand-over-hand picking up the toys. Try not to give them the opportunity to not listen to you. This will also help reduce the amount of times you repeat yourself. We all know how frustrating that can be!
6. Use “first, then” Language
As a parent, you always want your children to follow your directions. If they want something, but you need them to complete a task, try first, then language.
For example, they want to go play outside, but they need to put shoes on first. Before they have the chance to rush out the door without the proper protection say “first put your shoes on, then we can go outside!” Sometimes this can be challenging for some kiddos because they are so excited to play. You could also model the action and then use first, then language.
Similarly you can reduce the amount of times you say no to your kiddo by saying things like later, not right now, or after we do this. Remember save the no for things like safety. Being conscious of the language you are using with your children can make a huge difference and increase desirable behaviors.
7. Model the behavior you want to see
Modeling is a great gentle parenting example. Children see everything you do whether we realize it or not. Modeling the behavior you want to see can make a huge impact on how your children behave.
If you want your children to wash their hands before meal times, you wash your hands before meal times. They can learn the steps this way while also learning that you wash your hands before meal time.
It really can be that simple! Of course, you will have to redirect behaviors here and there, but they see everything!
I would shout at my dog “no” when she would try and take my daughter’s snacks and now my daughter does the same thing but with the snack in front of my dog’s face. This was the moment I learned that it was time to change that behavior. Parenting is tough!!
8. Remain calm, cool, and collected
Have you ever noticed that your children will feed off of the energy that you put out? IF you’re screaming and shouting, they will most likely match that energy. This is fun for absolutely nobody.
If you are feeling like you want to freak out, try to not lose it in front of your children. We all have, but it can escalate the situation. When you get a moment, you can gather yourself in the closet or cry in the shower like I do (it is rough out here sometimes).
Gentle parenting takes a lot of patience and time with your kids, but it can really help with behaviors in the long run. Take care of yourself and remember that breaks from your children are absolutely necessary!
9. Offer a visual schedule
Lastly, offering a visual schedule can help your child tremendously. Visual schedules are amazing! They allow your child to anticipate what is coming next and when it is time to transition.
I have found that visuals schedules of any kind reduce behaviors, especially if your child is involved in the transition process. For example, when it is time to move onto the next activity, you can have your child physically remove the card and put it away. This can be a great way to end the activity and wrap it up, moving onto the next one.
Of course you can make your own visual schedules. I just find that buying one is more convenient. If you want to make your own, you can do it on a platform like Canva.com. It is completely free to sign up and use. I use the free version for everything when I am feeling crafty.
Gentle parenting is not easy! Parenting in general is not easy, so if you are looking for a friend please contact me. I am always looking for new mom friends!
This post was all about the top 9 gentle parenting examples that will inspire you to be the best parent for your children.
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